my last night in kansas....

i met up with dan for lunch today, whom i adore. i really miss being able to have talks with him. he still has that penetrating stare that just makes me want to confess everything to him ;) anyhow, he's probably going to propose to his girlfriend before the year is over. dan-->engaged?! not that i can't imagine he's prepared for it...but wow. i just never thought he'd find love so young...but i'm definitely really happy for him. tonight, emily and i went over to erin [bresnahan]'s apartment where she lives with her husband now. she got married last summer.

so many of my friends from kansas are getting married or engaged--and they're all still like 23! are they abnormal or is it just me? i just cannot imagine making such a huge decision in my life right now. not that it's a big wall {marriage} but it's a major choice that one makes in his life...and i just couldn't do that now. i asked joanne the other night if she freaked out when her husband proposed to her in college...and she just said "i don't know..you just know!" But do i? what if I have met the one...but blocked the possibility in my mind? is my approach to life skewed? is it wrong that i don't want to think about marriage for years and years and years? i know it'll be much harder later...fewer eligible men...for a reason? i don't know why i'm freaking out now. i'm just dumbfounded.