i haven't written anything since i was in kansas. a lot has happened since. it's weird--there's so much to write about...yet, i feel odd writing about it in this weblog. how private do i want to be about the events in my life?

anyhow, after getting back from kansas, life moved on and i was back in seattle. had a really really rough week with matthew right afterwards. it's definitely tough to try to continue a friendship with someone who you've shared your life with for the past year. when is it time to move on? how long does it take to heal? do i have the right to cry? you can kinda tell what was going on. but things are definitely much better now. this was the hardest it's ever been to try to get through to him. but i finally did and i think we're on the same page now. it's bizarre when his first step after a relationship is my first--hard to deal with.

i miss his friends. he has yet to invite me out to hang out with his friends since the breakup. now he's in fernley and i just got an invitation to see 'the drop' at sit&spin on saturday. i love hearing them and i miss seeing the gang. should i go? we'll see.

i hung out with brad after work today---we went back to his place and had a super super long long talk about his new secret crush and, in general, about our crazy love lives and our opinions of the energy between men & women. it's amazing how i can speak so incredibly comfortably and honestly with him about relationships and sex. i mean, we feel the same way about the topic...and can talk about it forever and ever. we confessed something to each other also tonight...which made me shy. but to find out he reciprocates makes me feel better. oh...it was lotsa lotsa fun hanging out with him. i know a secret...

i finally made it out to the elysian tonight to say goodbye to my friend cathy who decided to leave the company to move down to california to work at a small start-up. she and i had orientation together...[sigh]