it's interesting being a pm now. in some ways, i lose 'cool points'..especially with other tech people. i'm starting to work on things with people who don't realize i have a tech background..and then talk to me like i know nothing at all...or just assume i'm asking a dumb question. interesting. on the other hand, i work with people who know my background and ask me technical questions that no other pm would normally be able to answer. i'm having an identity crisis at work. plus it's late. i can't believe i'm still here.



i'm moving. still trying to grasp the concept that i made that decision today. see, i live in an old house. i love my old house. i really do. but i miss some of the standards of modern living. for example, it'd be nice to open up my paper roll-up blinds without worrying about it rolling out and hitting me in the head....or washing my dishes in warm water because it takes too much brainpower in the evenings to find that certain 2 degrees that my kithen faucet handle needs to be at in order to get warm water...or being able to park someplace where my car doesn't get stolen in the middle of the night, only to be found in federal way a few days later without any seats. plus, i miss having a balcony and view. so i looked around this weekend..and found a cool apartment at a brand new place just a few blocks from me. it has a balcony, a roof top deck and it's oh so new. if all works out, i'll be in there by september. it makes me sad, though, because i love where i live right now. it's so charming with the stained glass and clawfoot tub. most of all, i have cool landlords. this last weekend, i ate dinner in the park and played frisbee with them...they're such sweet people. they definitely made it a hard decision for me. but--as phoebe and fred say--this new apartment is probably "more along the lines of my urban chick personality" than my current place. ha!



had lunch with thomas yesterday...saw him for the first time in months. he looked good. it was nice to see him smiling and giddy like he was when i first met him...as compared to the stressed out and seemingly unhappy guy i was dating near the end of our relationship. i still can't figure out what really happened between the two of us. oh well.



i think gilia's back from brazil. must have lunch with her.

i'm getting a lot busier at work now..which is good. it kills me to just sit there and not do much..and not be able to do much since i'm still training. this job change has been interesting. the hardest thing is to restrain myself from making quick changes to the codebase..like if i see something really easy to change that needs changing, i'd rather just do it myself. but instead, i have to make a request..and wait a few days before it gets implemented. i'm sure i'll get used to it...plus, there are so many things for me to learn.



sadly, a lot of people i know at work were either laid off or given 3-week notice last week...including my ex, matthew. [sigh] i hope this is a good thing for matthew..knowing how much he often disliked the policies at this company, and the way that they treated editors.



the days have been absolutely warm and sunny here in seattle. i just want to go out and play all the time.



i finally heard from thomas...which is nice. hopefully, we'll see each other soon. should be interesting as i'm afraid that i'll just be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness when i see him.



susan left last week to go on her big research trip and visit home for the next two months---boo! so sad. i've been hanging out a lot more with her lately...will miss her and can't wait til she's back!



oh, and i moved at work...back to an office, which i share with 2 people. the nice thing is that it's on the corner, so we have 2 windows. i sit right next to one where i can get a partial view of the central district. whoopee!

check out the dancing club spiderman that jimmy sent over to me.



my parents have been in town for over a week now, leaving today. we went up to vancouver over the weekend to visit relatives...and meet relatives that I didn't know existed..like 2 second cousins--marilyn and aaron. it was fun talking to marilyn a lot and learning more about my family. some relative of ours worked on a huge "Lee Family Tree" report, that dates back to the 1st generation. I'm in the 27th generation. Crazy huh? I was so happy to see that because my family tree starts getting really complicated at my grandparents level. See, my great grandparents were all into the multiple wives/concubines thing...so I often meet relatives who are like "I'm your grandmother's brother, same father, but different mother!"...and another "I'm her sister, same father, but another different mother!". It's finally all drawn out.



i can't decide if i really want to buy a place or not right now. my problem is that i prefer urban living...thus, a condo is probably the best within my price range. but i don't know what kind of investment that would be for the timeframe that i have. so in that sense, a townhome or house would be best...but i'm not crazy about living away from the city too much. [sigh] i might just keep throwing my money at rent. who knows.



at dinner the other night, my parents whipped out a $20 bill to show everyone the conspiracy and coincidence with 9/11. weird. it just cracks me up to see that come from my parents of all people.

i've been wanting to change the design of my website for a long time..but never took the time to do so. i was suddenly inspired to do so yesterday. hope you like it. it's a lot more updated now, especially with links to friends' websites.



the other day, fred invited me to watch the mariners game against the A's with his team in the specially rented out microsoft box seats area. fancy. the seats were really cushiony and we had as much hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad and drinks as we wanted. how nice it must be to be working for a company that has loads of profit already.

what you would look like as a south park character



this is jon, owen, suzanne and me.

so...yeah...hi. i haven't written in a long time. about a month. i'm still here. i'm still alive. things are still happening in my life. i just haven't written about them. i tend to go back and forth and back and forth every once in awhile regarding keeping this online journal. the initial purpose was to just let my long distance friends keep up with my life. but it's strange now that i have coworkers, close local friends and even complete strangers asking when i'm going to update this thing. it's not like i'm surprised...but i've come to realize how private of a person i really am. for the most part, i'm pretty open to disclosing the details of my life...but..it's just different on the 'net, y'know? because i really limit myself from talking about the things that irk me, i just end up only talking about the random daily things that happen to me....which, might be interesting to read. but in reality, i'm sure, it's just frankly boring unless you already know me and the people that i mention. thus, i question why i have this journal if i don't really allow myself to spill some of my more inner thoughts on life. hmmm.



quick update over this last month: went to aaron's graduation from RISD in providence which was awesome. i'm so proud of my little brother and i hope he realizes that. i sometimes feel like he resents me in some way, being the older one....that he needs to prove himself to me somehow. maybe i'm reading into it wrong but in reality, i've always been so happy with his accomplishments and could only wish i allowed myself to explore my creative path as much as he has. now, he's blossomed into this amazing artist and i really feel that he will go so far in life with something that he is passionate about.



my first asian boyfriend, dan lu, got married the same day that aaron graduated. Congrats Dan. I'm so happy for you and Rebecca. he's my first ex-boyfriend to get married (that I know of). Kinda weird. that is, that concept. i'm bummed that i couldn't go to the wedding as much as I wanted to. He's such a dear friend and wish him the best.



smith's collection of art has made its way to the seattle art museum in an exhibition titled "From Corot to Picasso" and will be here until september. i went to a "special evening" for smith alumnae this last week which was really nice. if you're in seattle, you should see the exhibition if you can--mostly impressionists.



In addition to my regular salsa classes, Owen's girlfriend, Amy, has convinced me to start taking African Dance classes with her. I've been to a few now and absolutely love it. the attitude is really let-loose, kick-back, have-fun. One of the best things about the class is the fact that there are always live drummers which really empowers you to just let everything go and put your all into it. Another great thing about the class is that it's located right on Lake Washington Blvd...so after class, the view is always incredibly beautiful. It amazes me how I can't stand running on the treadmill for 10 minutes; yet, I can dance intensely for 1.5 hours.



at work, i'm now working completely as a program manager...although I'm still trying to dust off web dev as I'm still listed as the Mktg Web Dev Mngr in the phonetool. It's a weird feeling--I've been in webdev for 3 years and loved it. But I'm completely psyched about this new move as it's something I've wanted to do for awhile and I think it better aligns with my long term career plans. The transition has been a bit rough with my (new) manager being out of the office a lot. Plus, there's very little formal training. I can't wait til I start feeling more comfortable in this new role.



Oh, and Thomas and I broke up...again. This time for good. I haven't heard from him in about 4 weeks :-( For some reason, I'm surprised. We didn't end things badly...in fact, it was a really really amiable breakup that ended in smiles and a hug. So...I thought by now, I'd at least hear a hello from him. [sigh] It's really unfortunate the way things ended between me and him. At the time of the breakup, we still cared for each other and were still attracted to each other. It was purely out of a random chain of events, wrong assumptions and circumstances that we are where we are now. But I guess that just attests to our [lack] of really really solid communication. I know deep down that we probably aren't the best for each other. But we made each other laugh...which I had never really felt in any other relationship. Like--really really laugh. And that felt so good. I miss that. I just hope that he finds it in him to be able to muster the ability to be friends with me. I really do enjoy his company. But for now, I'll just have to wait.



Thus, in this last month, I've basically been single girl again, trying to fill my days up with more activities--such as going to the gym more often, taking 2 dance classes, and trying to get back into yoga again. And it feels great. I also feel like I'm hanging out with a lot of people that I haven't seen in a long time again.



parents are coming to visit next week for a whole week. trying to think of things to do with them.

saw teatro zinzanni's show "dinner & dreams" last week which was fabulous! they have a show in san francisco too...so if you're ever in the area, I highly recommend this show...though here in seattle, it's sold out for the next 2 months. it was more vaudeville-like than cirque du soleil (although it definitely had its share of acrobats). If anything, it was just a fun evening of laughter, love, and smiles...along with decent yummy food (generic spinach salad, salmon and lemon tart).



because i'm a first-year subscriber, phoebe and i had the opportunity to attend a studio rehearsal of the pacific northwest ballet last week. what a change to see the dancers out of costume, only a few feet away. they have a gorgeous studio too with floor-to-ceiling windows that filter in the evening daylight.



memorial day weekend was nice and relaxing, considering that i was oncall for all of it (my last week of on-call duties!). saturday, jolie and i drove up to anacortes to join up with owen and friends for a full day of watching the sun set over the san juans and kayaking. i saw a lot of people that i haven't hung out with in awhile :-( which was a little strange as i felt as out of touch as jolie did, who really just met everyone for the first time. sunday, came back to watch the mariners cream the baltimore orioles with thomas and his sister & her husband who were visiting. afterwards, we wandered around the northwest folklife festival at the seattle center.



last night, i saw phoebe & ray's new house which is oh so cute. i'm starting to think seriously again about whether or not i should buy a place. thomas also just bought a condo which is fabulous---newly built and in the heart of queen anne. i'm going to attend one of those free home buying seminars this weekend and perhaps seriously start looking around over the next month. *gulp* to imagine owning a place. it seems like such a commitment right now. well, it is. but i'm afraid of finding myself still here in seattle a few years from now saying to myself "oh, i wish i had bought a place back then..."